


Used, Abused, and Broken

by HappinessIsBlau



Series: Fallout 4 Daily Writing Prompt Fills [15]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Friendship/Love, Gen, Past Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-11 00:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12310809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappinessIsBlau/pseuds/HappinessIsBlau
Summary: Cait’s fingers were shaking as she flicked the ash from her cigarette.





	Used, Abused, and Broken

“It’s so hard sometimes, you know?” Cait’s fingers were shaking as she flicked the ash from her cigarette, “Like, who am I without it? I’ve never had the opportunity to know myself like this, I’ve just hit and been hit and taken a hit until it’s all stopped hurting and now I’m alone, with you and my thoughts and it’s just so fucking much that I can’t stand it,” tears were coming to her eyes but she wiped them away with the back of her hand. 

“I don’t know what to do now. I’m not a good person and I don’t want to be, I just want to be me but I’m so fucking scared because if I don’t think about myself as being a person, it’s easier to forget the shit that made me this way.” 

Sophia nodded to show that she was paying attention -- she didn’t want to interrupt this stream of consciousness that made her friend seem so, so vulnerable. Obviously, Cait didn’t want any opinion; she just wanted to vent. She took a long drag from her cigarette before continuing. 

“I feel like I’ve knocked down a wall and I don’t know what to do with myself now. I’m too raw to figure it out but what happens if I fuck up and go back to the way things were? I think… I think I’d actually die this time if I did, Soph. I know I don’t wanna die, I know I wanna do something with myself but, like, what?” 

“I think you’re doing a lot, Cait, whether you realize it or not,” Sophia tried, and Cait shook her head. 

“Building shacks for people who are complaining about every single fucking thing you do and being terrified of you isn’t really ‘doing a lot’ in my humble opinion, but whatever. I guess. It just doesn’t feel like it’s important work and I’ve just done so much shit and been through so much shit that, like, how dare I feel like I’m entitled to a good life, right? How dare I possibly think that after serving me garbage for the last fucking lifetime-and-a-half that someone like me deserves to be proud of what they’re doing?” 

“I’m sorry, Cait,” and Sophia really meant it. She took Cait’s hand in hers and pressed it against her heart. 

“You are so full of potential to do anything that you want to do and I believe that you’ll find a place that makes you feel whole, I really do.” 

Sophia was a full head shorter than Cait, but the taller girl leaned forward until their foreheads touched.

**Author's Note:**

> Going from one lifestyle and setting to a very different lifestyle and setting would be really hard, and it isn't super touched on in-game, I think.


End file.
